10 Supposedly Fast Cars That Can’t Beat The 6,217 Lbs Cadillac Escalade-V To 60 MPH

Cadillac finally unveiled the 2022 Escalade-V earlier this week, a monster-sized and monster-powered SUV that comes with some pretty amazing numbers. The first of these is the curb weight of 6,217 lbs (2,820 kg) (the stretched ESV is 6,407 lbs/2,906 kg), making it almost as heavy as three Mazda MX-5 Miatas, or the same as a Volkswagen Golf R tow truck . a car trailer with an original Lotus Elise on the back.

Another stunning statistic is the 16.1-inch (409mm) diameter of the brake discs, which are larger than the full wheels fitted to that S1 Elise we just mentioned, while some have raised eyebrows at the $100 price tag. 149,990 which makes the V the most expensive Cadillac ever.

But we’re interested in the 4.4 seconds it takes the Escalade-V to hit 60 mph. The mammoth seven-seat body-on-frame SUV sheds its colossal curb weight to reach sixty fold thanks to the supercharged V8 based on the one in the CT5-V Blackwing. The 6.2-liter engine pours the hottest Escalade 682 hp (692 hp) and 653 lb-ft (885 Nm) of torque.

Related: The 2023 Escalade-V Is The Most Powerful And Expensive Production Cadillac Ever

Technically, the Dodge Durango Hellcat is even more outrageous, thanks to its 710 hp (720 hp) Hellcat V8, 3.5 second zero to 62 mph performance, and 8,700 lbs (3,950 kg) towing capacity (the Escalade-V is limited to towing of 7,000 lb / 3,175 kg).

But the Hellcat is no longer for sale, and anyway, let’s not take anything away from the Caddy’s ability to bend the laws of physics. Getting a 6,200 lbs combustion engine based on a truck chassis and having all the aerodynamics of a shipping container to accelerate to 60 mph in 4.4 seconds is an accomplishment.

And it’s something these 10 supposedly fast performance cars can’t beat. Just a note on the numbers, you may find performance figures that differ from those shown here, but we’ve stuck with automaker-supplied figures where possible in the interest of fairness.

Porsche 718 Cayman S – 4.4 seconds

Gone are the days when Porsche artificially limited the Boxster and Cayman to protect the 911’s blush. Last year it launched a true GT3-engined car, the 718 Cayman GT4 RS, and by 2022 any car, from the base 2.5-litre Boxster and Cayman, will be able to dive under 5 seconds to 60 mph.

But not so much. The entry-level 296 hp (300 hp) cars require 4.9 seconds, the 345 hp (350 hp) S can only match the Escalade’s 4.4 seconds, and even the 394 hp (400 hp) 4.0 liter GTS takes 4.3 seconds when equipped with the six-speed manual transmission, making it barely faster than the Cadillac. However, drop an extra $3,730 for the seven-speed PDK auto and you’ll drop the sprint time to 3.8 seconds.

Jaguar F-Type P450 – 4.4 seconds

Jaguar dropped the four- and six-cylinder variants of its F-Type sports car from its US line-up for 2023, leaving two supercharged V8s as the only powerplants available. Whichever you choose, the two-seat Jag has the looks and growling soundtrack to suggest it would whip the Escalade up to 60 mph in outright combat. But only one version of the Jag can really pull that off.

The F-Type R certainly can, its 567PS (575PS) output and standard all-wheel drive take it to 62mph in 3.5 seconds and finally to 186mph. But regardless of whether you couple the 444bhp (450PS) of the F-Type P450’s little brother to a simple rear-wheel-drive chassis or a heavier, but theoretically stickier, four-wheel-drive alternative, you won’t get any faster than 60mph. the 4.4 seconds required by the Escalade.

Subaru WRX – 6.0 seconds

Go back 20 years and a WRX-badged Subaru was just about the fastest on the road this side of a fully blown supercar, and even some of them had a hard time moving forward to 60 mph when the pavement was damp.

Unfortunately for Subaru fans, power and performance have stagnated in recent years. There is no longer an STI halo model, and despite gaining half a liter of displacement over last year’s model, the 2022 WRX boosts power by just 3 hp (3 hp) to 271 hp (275 hp). ). When Edmunds its timing gear strapped to a manual transmission car, the testers recorded a miserable 6.0 seconds to 60 mph, 0.3 seconds longer than car it took to achieve the same benchmark in a blob-eye WRX in October 2000.

VW Golf R – 4.5 seconds

The Golf R 2022 is one of the great sleepers of our time. Aside from the four-tailpipe setup (and even that’s fairly discreet), there’s little visual cues to warn non-car types about the fact that you’re packing 315 horsepower (319 hp) under the sharp-squeezed hood, or that you’ve got all-wheel drive to ensure the 295 lb-ft (400 Nm) of the turbocharged inline four-cylinder engine hits the curb cleanly.

Related: Epic Drag Race Showcases All Generations Of The Porsche 911 Turbo Going Toe To Toe

Next to the Escalade-V, however, it’s the Golf R’s performance, not just its styling, that looks sleepy. The Volkswagen US retail website quotes 4.7 seconds to 60 mph, but that appears to be directly bumped from the 0-62 mph (100 km/h) time quoted in Europe, putting the sixty time at around 4.5 seconds coming. Either way, we’d support the Escalade in a drag race.

Tesla Model Y Long Range – 4.8 seconds

No one, including Tesla, is claiming that the Model Y Long Range is an enthusiast car hungry for the track. But all Teslas are rocketships, right? They certainly feel it thanks to their instant step-off, and with its dual engines and all-wheel drive, the base model Y has the drag racing chops to scalp a few hot hatches and sports cars.

But it’s not the size of the Escalade according to official test figures from the two companies, Tesla’s numbers put the Model Y 0.4 seconds behind the General’s flagship SUV.

Dodge Challenger R/T Scat Pack Widebody manual – 4.9 seconds

Surely a good muscle car can take down the Escalade-V? Okay, so the Challenger R/T Scat Pack doesn’t have a Hellcat engine under that scooped hood, but the 485 hp (492 hp) 6.2-liter V8 has nearly 1,900 lbs (861 kg) less metal to reduce drag to strip to be dragged down, and the Widebody kit reinforces the visual impression that this chunky R/T means business.

Unfortunately, it’s easier to buy a 2023 Corvette Z06 at MSRP than find official zero-to-60 mph numbers on most U.S. auto retail websites, so we’re not exactly sure how fast Dodge thinks the Widebody will accelerate. Some indy testing suggests the automatic can hit 60 in the low 4 second range, but Edmunds’ manual car needed 4.9 seconds. So unless your launching and switching game is perfectly timed, don’t bet on the Escalade yawning in your stick-shift, sub-Hellcat Challenger.

Mercedes-AMG GT 53 4-door – 4.4 seconds

Driving an AMG car (as opposed to an AMG-Line model) brings a certain sense of security when it comes to performance. You can be pretty sure whichever AMG you drive will outrun most challengers, including pimped-out Cadillac SUVs with wheels the size of beach umbrellas and a V badge on the door.

Except you can’t. Admittedly, the real hardcore AMGs like the 2-door GT coupe can waste the Escalade in a straight line with their zero to 60 mph performance in under 4 seconds; the CLA 43 does the job in 4.0 seconds and the E 53 coupé sneaks ahead with a show of 4.3 seconds. But the GT 53 4-dr pictured above can only match the Caddy’s 4.4 second mark, and just about every other AMG currently available in the US is slower, from the GLC 43 (4.5 seconds) to the mighty G 63 (4.8 seconds) .

Caterham Seven 360 – 4.8 seconds

A Caterham Seven is so far from an Escalade-V that if the two ever met they probably wouldn’t even realize they are of the same sex. The 360 ​​sits in the middle of Caterham’s range between the entry-level 170 and the arguably insane (or is that just its drivers?) 620R, and is powered by a naturally aspirated 2.0-litre Ford Duratec.

That sends 178 horsepower (180 hp) and 143 lb-ft (194 Nm) to the rear wheels, which may not sound like much, but neither does the comical curb weight of 1,235 lbs (560 kg). Launch one of these babies and send it through the gears, and you’ll swear you did 60 mph in 3.0 seconds, though the GPS-verified time of 4.8 seconds actually puts it nearly half a second behind the Caddy places.

Porsche Cayenne GTS – 4.5 seconds

The GTS isn’t the most extreme Cayenne money can buy, but those GTS lettering on the trunk tells you it’s Porsche’s most driver-focused SUV this side of the five-piece Turbo lineup.

Related: Zero to 60 MPH in 11 seconds? Meet the slowest corvettes ever

But the best the 453 hp (460 hp) twin-turbocharged V6 engine under the hood of the Cayenne GTS can do is 4.5 seconds to 100 km/h. Oddly enough, Porsche says the coupe version of the GTS can get the job done in 4.2 seconds, despite having the same powertrain, the same top speed of 279km/h and weighing just 10kg less.

Ram 1500 TRX – 4.5 seconds

So you want to compare apples to apples, or at least something else with enough power to uproot an entire orchard? You might think the Ram 1500 TRX would be in with a cry to shame the Escalade-V. While it’s a pickup and the Caddy is an SUV, they’re both essentially old-fashioned body-on-frame trucks, and both are equipped with 6.2-liter supercharged V8s driving all four wheels. But the Ram’s Hellcat engine makes 702 hp (712 hp) to the Escalade’s 682 hp (692 hp), coming within 3 lb-ft (4 Nm) of matching the Cadillac’s 653 lb-ft (885 Nm). ) torque output.

However, according to Ram, the TRX takes 4.5 seconds to hit 60 mph, putting it a tenth behind the Escalade-V, and while independent testing has shown that the Ram can dip into threes, it seems reasonable to assume that Cadillac is also sandbags, and that the Escalade is even faster than it claims. How fast do the independent testers think with titles like Car & Driver will the Escalade-V go?

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